American Dream

I look out the small square window—the fluffy clouds engulf the plane in a thick fog of whiteness. For the first time in a long time, I feel relieved. This is my first trip back home to Los Angeles in a long time. It’s been exactly two years and seventeen days since I flew across the country to pursue a computer engineering degree at NYU. Two years since my boyfriend of eight years and I decided to make New York our home and attend the same university together. Two years of the same boring routine; waking up to the loud sounds of university students chatting along my dorm room floor, hustling to my first 8 am class, going to the library to study, and then ordering takeout with John. That’s his name—the boyfriend of eight years. But actually…he’s now the ex-boyfriend. 

I’m 25 years old, and I have only been with one person. I know that’s nothing to be ashamed of, but something inside me isn’t satisfied. My whole life I’ve been chasing a dream that isn't mine. The “American Dream” is something both of my Vietnamese parents so desperately wanted for me: to be at the top of the class, graduate with honors, attend one of the most prestigious universities, get a degree they could brag about, and marry the perfect boy from the perfect Asian family. Every expectation my parents set for me, I reached and surpassed. I was the model minority, the perfect child. I was doing everything right but it was not enough for me.

“Business or pleasure?” A voice interrupts my thoughts. I look to my right for the first time since the plane has departed and see big brown eyes staring back at me. As I observe the rest of the face, I notice a sly smile begin to form on the mouth that says, without waiting for my reply, “I’m here for pleasure.” The pilot makes an announcement through the speaker about the plane landing soon.

“I’m coming home,” I reply, suddenly feeling a little bit shy. It’s been years since I’ve even thought about flirting with someone else. How does one even flirt anymore? Was this person flirting with me?

“Oh? A Los Angeles native! Well, since California is your home, you’re going to have to give me some pointers on the places I should check out. I’m only in town for about a week.” 

“You don’t have an itinerary yet? When did you book this trip?” I tease, thinking of my type A tendencies and how wild it would be to take a trip without foresight. 

“Just a few hours ago, actually,” the person next to me responds, coyly. “I’m a little spontaneous. Or maybe planning ahead just makes me nauseous.” I notice toned, tan legs peeking out below loose cargo pants.

Planning ahead has been something I’ve done my entire life. I’ve always been in control of my schedule, my future, my destiny, and so on. Spontaneity scares me, and besides breaking up with John and dropping out of my engineering program, I’ve never done anything truly spontaneous. I decide to give in to my talkative seatmate.

“I’m Emily. We could exchange numbers and I can text you some of my local favorite hang-out spots? Don’t expect anything crazy though, I’m pretty boring.” 

“Really? You, boring? You have an energy about you, it’s anything but boring, trust me. I’m Luna, by the way. Fuck texting. Let’s hang out this week,” Luna says, flashing me a mischievous smile. This time, I feel butterflies. 

“Um, yeah, I guess. I’ll see if I have time. It’s nice meeting you, anyway.”

As I exit the plane and walk towards the baggage claim area, I smile to myself. My parents are going to fucking kill me. But I’m pleasantly distracted, not really worried about it. Instead, I’m thinking of Luna.

And in what way? I feel confused but more alive than I’ve felt in years. Though I identify as “straight” it’s not the first time I’ve wondered what it would be like to be with a woman. My parents raised me with the “you should date to marry, not to waste time” mantra. But maybe that’s exactly why I’m intrigued by Luna, a stranger on my plane in town for only a week.

~~~

The Uber drops me off at the address Luna sent me. It’s been a week now, so she flies back tomorrow. I’m acutely aware of the enhanced pressure to show her a good time. Over the past few days, we’ve been texting back and forth and getting to know each other. Luna’s messages comfort me while simultaneously thrilling me. I have never revealed so much about myself, and it feels good. “Come on, let loose a little! We need to meet up for drinks before I go.” I read this text over and over before I finally say yes. 

“Hi! Come in! I was just finishing getting ready.” As Luna opens the door, I am slightly shocked to find her still in a T-shirt and underwear. As she gives me a tight hug, I feel her soft breasts and pert nipples—she’s not wearing a bra. Her slim, toned figure gets grabbed by her oversized shirt as she moves. Her legs are long and even more nicely tanned than when I checked her out on the plane. She’s been out hiking and at the beach all week. Her black hair reaches all the way down to her sculpted butt, like a mermaid. Her skin is beautifully radiant, seemingly makeup-free. 

On the ride over in the Uber, I reminded myself that our flirtation may be all in my head, that I could be creating a diversion because my life is upside down. Maybe Luna just wanted a safe female companion to get dinner with, nothing more. Even so, I got ready for this evening like it was a date. I’m wearing a tight black dress that hugs my figure, with delicate straps that accentuate my bare shoulders. As I follow Luna into the bedroom, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror before meeting Luna’s gaze. “Like what you see?” she says, playfully. I do. I like how I look, and I like how Luna looks, too.

I take a step back to look beyond Luna and explore the whole apartment. The bedroom is adorned with mandala tapestry and a curtain of string lights along the wall. The bed is queen-sized with navy blue sheets and cute bohemian-style pillows. Something catches my eye, and I realize that there are some restraints fastened to the bed posts. 

“Oh yeah, this apartment belongs to my friend. She’s a little bit of a freak.” Luna laughs, and I feel my face turning hot. 

“I’m sorry to be nosy. I’ve just never seen such a…unique apartment!” I quickly change the topic, ashamed I got caught looking around. 

“Don’t be silly. Explore around and take your time. Our reservations aren’t for another hour, I think. Want to pregame?” Luna asks. 

“Ugh, yes. I could use a drink after the last few hours I had,” I say. 

Lunch with my parents had not gone well. I finally revealed to them that I’d dropped out of NYU and broken up with John. As expected, they were not pleased.

Luna comes up behind me and begins to massage my shoulders. “Whooo-sa,” she says with a smile. Her hands feel firm but soft against my skin. 

“Mmmm… keep going. I didn’t tell you to stop,” I say to her, trying to give her some sass.

“Oh yeah? I can do better,” Luna whispers in my ear, and I immediately get goosebumps all over. 

Luna notices my goosebumps and a look of intrigue flashes across her face. She raises her eyebrows like she’s slightly surprised, but more so pleased that she was right about me.

She takes my hand in hers and leads me to the bed, suddenly serious, sultry. With a swift motion she lifts my right arm above my head and fastens it with the restraint. She does the same with my left arm, carefully tracing down my wrist and inner arm with her fingers. Her fingers stop right above my breasts, playfully tracing the cleavage above the V-cut of the dress. Her soft touch makes me feel so aroused, and I give in to the moans that seem to spill out of me. Luna enjoys this, observes me—I come back to reality.

“Um, I’ve never done anything like this before. Sorry if I’m not good at it,” I say to her shamefully, my face turning bright red again. 

Not only have I never been with a woman, but I’ve never been tied up before either, and I’m nervous. That’s the scarier part, actually. I hate not being in control. 

“Nuh-uh. Don’t do that. Stop apologizing for things,” Luna shushes me. “I know you said you’ve been in control your whole life, but tonight is going to be different,” she strokes my cheek as she speaks.

“I’m going to take control, and you just lay back and take it,” Luna says into my ear. I feel myself getting wet. “Fuck everything but this moment. You deserve to feel good.” 

She places her mouth on mine and begins kissing me. Her tongue massages my tongue, and I taste her minty lip balm. She lightly sucks on my lower lip, and I begin to feel a little more at ease. I trust her, for some crazy reason, even though I barely know her. And maybe she’s right. Maybe it’s someone else’s turn to take control. I’m tired of always being in control. 

Luna’s soft lips trace down the right side of my neck, and then up to my ear. She playfully sucks on my ear, teasing it with her tongue, and I start squirming. I feel like a ticklish idiot in the presence of this sexual goddess, but she doesn’t give me time to feel embarrassed. With both of her hands, she pulls down the spaghetti straps of my dress, revealing my breasts. I’ve always been ashamed of my small breasts. But tonight feels different. Luna worships my breasts in a way that makes me feel like I have the best tits in the world. 

“Your pink nipples are so damn sexy,” she whispers and takes my right nipple into her mouth. I let out a moan as she begins flicking her tongue against my nipple, alternating between fast and slow and light licks. Her lips trace a line from my right breast to my left as she takes my left nipple into her mouth and sucks lightly. 

By now, my underwear is soaked and I’m squirming against the restraints. I feel helpless yet so wanted. Luna’s lips look so sexy and soft against my nipple, and I love how she traces circles around them with her soft tongue. I’ve always heard of girls being able to orgasm from nipple play, but I’ve never come close until now. I push against the restraints as my moans get louder. 

“Good girl… mmm, moan for me, Emily. I love how you sound,” Luna whispers, looking up at me.

“Fuck our reservations. I want to eat you instead.” Luna’s hands make their way between my thighs. She finds my underwear and pulls it down, her hands moving back up between my thighs to my pussy. She begins lightly stroking her soft fingers against my lips, then on my clit as I moan louder. She uses her fingers to tease me, circling around my clit and then massaging it interchangeably. I’m losing my mind. 

“Oh my god. Please don’t stop. I want to cum,” I say through my heavy breath. 

“No. You’re not making the rules tonight. You’ll cum when I want you to,” Luna replies, and I see her lowering her face and spreading my legs apart.

I feel her hot breath between my legs as she whispers, “your pussy is fucking beautiful.” She kisses and licks along my inner thighs, always coming close to my lips but never touching them. She begins making out with my right inner thigh, and I let out a high-pitched moan reeling from both the tickle and pleasure. I hear Luna giggle from between my legs. “You’re so fucking hot, Emily. I want you to see what I see.”

Suddenly, she lifts herself off the bed and makes her way across the room. She grabs the long mirror and brings it to the side of the bed facing me. I see my naked body, tied up and helpless. 

She makes her way back to me, lowering herself down on top of me and kissing me. We make out for a long time, and I savor every taste of her. Her hands caress my breasts again, and I swear I could cum from how well she teases each nipple. She realizes this but doesn’t let me. Not yet. 

Luna traces my naked skin with her tongue and lips, eventually arriving between my legs as I lie there vulnerable and excited. “Look at yourself in the mirror. I want you to see everything I am doing.”

As her soft tongue laps my pussy again, I am squirming in pleasure. She softly licks along the edges of my lips, tracing up and down the sides until I am begging her to go on. Her tongue finally makes its way to my clit, and I feel her hot breath engulfing it in warmth. She lightly sucks on my clit, making sure to go slow so I can feel every sensation. By now, I am dripping wet and so close to cumming. But she still doesn’t let me. 

“How does it feel to not be in control for once?” Luna asks, between sucking me and licking me. I’m moaning so loud I can’t answer her. I’ve never felt this much intensity from being eaten out. I want to cum so badly, but I also don’t want this to end. 

She slowly sucks on my clit again, playing with my nipples simultaneously. Each time I’m about to cum, she slows down or stops, edging me so torturously I’m about to explode. My body tenses up at each rhythmic suck, each light lick, and how vulnerable my nipples feel between her fingers. As she feels me about to cum, she begins slowing down her tongue and lips, but keeping a steady pressure on my clit and my nipples. 

I turn to look at myself in the mirror and see her beautiful profile between my legs, and my legs beginning to shake. Her head moves gently in a circular motion as her tongue continues to massage my clit lightly. I feel myself about to cum. 

“Good girl. Now I want you to cum for me.” Luna says finally. As these words escape her mouth, I feel myself letting go. Waves of pleasure move through my body as I cum intensely, pulling at my restraints and moaning so loud I’m sure the neighbors can hear. As I am cumming, Luna is lightly licking me still, slowing down her rhythm so that I can keep cumming. I orgasm for what seems like forever, looking in the mirror and seeing my body contract and bend in ways I didn’t know it could. I’m surprised at my own body. 

Luna feels my second orgasm coming and traces her lips back up to my nipples. As she sucks on my left nipple, her fingers fuck me, hitting my G-spot just in time for me to cum again. My voice is high-pitched as I scream her name. She doesn’t stop until I beg her to. 

My body goes limp as my breath slows down. I’m sweating and the sheets are soaking wet. My wrists are red from writhing against the restraints so much. I look to my side into the mirror and catch Luna’s big brown eyes again. She smiles back at me, looking accomplished and proud. I suddenly feel shy again. 

“You’re so fucking gorgeous when you let go,” Luna says to me. 

“No one’s ever made me cum like that,” I say. 

Luna begins to free my hands from the restraints. I feel the sudden urge to taste her, to explore her entire body. I grab her by the hips and push her to the side while I get on top. 

“Fuck the reservations,” I repeat her words back to her. I don’t want this night to end yet. 

Photo by Kseniya Kopna